Seeing Things As They Really Are
Becoming conscious of suppressed thoughts can ease the emotional pain they cause. Digging through layers of denial and suppression and becoming conscious of the root cause of unease can provide relief from unpleasant emotions when they are caused by suppressed thoughts.
Suffering arises when reality conflicts with our attachments. When we don't have what we want, our cravings are unsatisfied. The mind may resist acknowledging these conflicts, it may invent stories to explain them and suppress the truth. When this happens, the mind is ignorant and deluded.
However, when the mind accepts that reality does not coincide with our attachments, it accepts reality, it does not hide the truth or invent stories. It sees things as they really are. The mind feels a little pain, but much less. It is not ignorant or deluded.
To end ignorance and delusion, to see things as they really are, you have to learn to allow emotional pain to come through to consciousness unhindered, to accept and acknowledge unsatisfied cravings. It can be painful to release emotions this way, but over time it leads to less suffering.
You can learn to be more aware of your emotions by being mindful of the physical sensations in your body because emotions are often accompanied by physical sensations.
When you notice an unpleasant emotion, ask your self, "Why do I feel this way?" Repeat the question through multiple layers of answers. Revisit it again at a later date if necessary.
Meditation can help if it quiets the mind so you can see what is happening within it and not get carried away by strong emotions. And meditation can create a feeling of tranquility that eases the pain of emotional release.
Freedom From the Fetter of Identity View
Our attachments tend to reflect our innermost beliefs about how we think we should relate to the world around us, ie. about our beliefs about the distinction we make between self and not-self. We tend to be tolerant of and care a lot about self: ourselves ("me") and things we consider ours ("mine" - our possessions, friends, family, favorite sports team etc), and we also tend to be intolerant of and care less about not-self: anything that is not "me" or "mine".
This distinction between self and other, caring about self and intolerance of not-self is the source of most of our attachments and so is the source of most of our unpleasant emotions.
When you learn to see things as they really are, learn to be conscious of your emotions, remove from your mind ignorance and delusion about your emotions, you can begin to see how this distinction between self and not-self, between self and other, is the source of your suffering. This understanding of how things really are helps to free you from the fetter of identity view.
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