Letting Go of Egoic Attachments

Giving up belief in identity-view is the key to stream-entry (the first stage of awakening). It is equivalent to realizing anatta.

Giving up belief in identity-view is equivalent to letting go of egoic attachments.

Egoic attachments are identified by observing the mind and body and noticing when unpleasant emotions and cravings arise in response to events or thoughts and noticing if/how the ego is involved. Learning to notice the sensations in the body that accompany emotions help one to notice when unpleasant emotions and cravings arise.

It is possible to learn to let go of egoic attachments by practicing relaxing meditation which helps you to cultivate samatha.

Cultivating vipassana helps you learn to notice egoic attachments, and cultivating samatha helps you learn to let go of egoic attachments. When you let go of egoic attachments you are not affected by identity-view and you suffer much less.

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Disengaging the Ego

Unpleasant emotions can be hard to let go of. If you examine unpleasant emotions, you may notice that there is usually some involvement of the ego. You might feel that if you could somehow disengage your ego then you could let go of the emotion and you would suffer a lot less.

There is a way to disengage the ego. It is easier to learn to do it while meditating, but the disengagement persists for a time after a meditation session, so it can be helpful in daily life. And with practice, disengaging the ego becomes easier to do.

This is one way to disengage the ego:

1. Relax and meditate to quiet the mind.

2. Then notice an unpleasant emotion, let yourself feel it.

3. Try to see clearly how the ego is involved - so that you understand disengaging the ego, letting go, would eliminate the emotion. But at this point you probably feel stuck, you can't let go.

4. Then try to relax. That probably that won't change much, you still feel stuck, until the next step:

5. Add an extra ingredient.

   I don't know exactly what to call this extra ingredient, probably the best way to describe it that will get someone close enough to figure it out for themselves is to call it metta. But it is not exactly metta, it is metta/humility/forgiveness/tranquil-happiness/freedom/compassion. It is the feeling of letting go, the feeling of letting go of your ego, the feeling of having your ego disengaged.

   When you do this correctly, the ego disengages, you let go of the emotion.

   I think many people who meditate will recognize this feeling, but you might not think of it as ego disengagement. I know this feeling very well, it's what I mean when I say, "When I am fully relaxed, nothing bothers me". But I had to experience it in the right context to see that is ego disengagement. If you follow the link and master that practice, you will understand what this "extra ingredient" is. When you do that practice, first your body starts to feel numb or tingling, then that feeling becomes more intense, then you feel like you are floating, and that becomes more intense, then you experience a transition (your ego becomes disengaged) and nothing is bothering you. If you experience that transition while focusing your attention on an unpleasant emotion, you will see that your ego has been disengaged.

I don't know how easy or hard this will be for any particular person to figure this out, but once you see how to do it, you can practice it and get better at it. The disengagement persists so you have to wait until it fades before you can try to produce it again.

In Buddhism, the first stage of awakening is called stream-entry. The main ingredient in stream-entry is the loss of identity view. Identity view is the belief that the self is a thing. When you are able to disengage the ego, you implicitly recognize that the ego is something that can be turned on and off or engaged and disengaged. The ego is not a thing, it is not a permanent entity, it is some type of process - it is one of the various unconscious processes that produce mental activity ie. thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences, and also the sense of self (the ego). When you can disengage the ego, it is loss of identity view.

Loss of identity view doesn't mean you don't have emotions, it means you don't identify with them. When the ego is disengaged, you can let go of emotions more easily, and you can stay mindful more easily. When you are mindful of emotions, you don't react to emotions by pushing them away or judging them or suppressing them and you also don't get lost in thought or carried away by emotions in response to them.

The other factors in stream entry are loss of doubt about the teachings and loss of attachment to rites and rituals. Loss of attachment to rites and rituals is interperted to mean that you stop looking at meditation as some type of magic process because you see how it really works. So, learning to disengage the ego also involves loss of these other two factors, you understand how meditation helps you end suffering, and you have no doubt that it really works. Therefore, learning to disengage the ego is one way to attain stream-entry.

The process of learning to disengage the ego more easily over time so that you can keep the ego disengaged for longer and longer periods of time in daily life is part of attaining higher stages of awakening. In order to keep the ego disengaged in daily life, it is necessary to be mindful in daily life so that you can stay relaxed and notice when the ego becomes engaged and then disengage it.

Another part of attaining higher stages of awakening is letting go of attachments and aversions. Disengaging the ego allows you to let go but it doesn't automatically rid you of attachments and aversions. It doesn't eliminate your habitual reactions that have been reinforced over a lifetime. You still have to observe the activity of your mind to recognize attachments and aversions, and you have to decide to let go. Letting go means learning to relax and accept your emotions rather than reacting to them with in unmindful ways - you don't push emotions away or get carried away by them. Letting go may feel like letting down your barriers and expanding your borders. It may feel like your self is dissolving.

It can be hard to figure out how to accept emotions. It becomes easier if you understand that an unpleasant emotion is resistance to a fact of reality that we don't like. It's a lot easier to accept a fact we don't like than an emotion because if we understand a fact is the truth, then there is really no alternative but to believe it, ie. to accept it as truth. If we understand an unpleasant emotion is simply our resistance to an unpleasant fact, then if we can accept the fact as a truth, then when we accept the fact, there is no more resistance to it. It can be helpful, when you experience an unpleasant emotion, to identify the fact of reality that you are resisting, and remind yourself that what is really the problem is your resistance to the fact that, "reality is not the way I want it to be".

In Buddhism, those at the highest stage of awakening are said to experience nirvana with remainder. Nirvana is the absence of suffering. That there is remainder means it is not complete absence of suffering. This is because a complete elimination of suffering is not possible due to the limitations imposed by being a biological organism.

Related Reading

Despite the common perception that awakening is a sudden and mystical experience, for many people, maybe the majority of people, awakening is not sudden and not mystical.

Man on Cloud Mountain - Shodo Harada Roshi-Segment

Often enlightenment or kensho or satori is considered to be some kind of unusual experience or something external or some kind of special phenomenon. But it’s not like that. There may be some kind of sudden revelation or some kind of sudden perception, but its not something that is that unusual or that strange or foreign that we come upon or that comes upon us. What it is, is the ability to see without any interruption of the ego, without any filtering of the ego. And since we are all walking around seeing things through our ego filter almost all the time, to suddenly be able to see without that filter is a surprise. But it is nothing that we have ever not had.

On Enlightenment – An Interview with Shinzen Young

When it happens suddenly and dramatically you’re in seventh heaven. It’s like after the first experience of love, you’ll never be the same. However, for most people who’ve studied with me it doesn’t happen that way. What does happen is that the person gradually works through the things that get in the way of enlightenment, but so gradually that they might not notice. What typically happens is that over a period of years, and indeed decades, within that person the craving, aversion, and unconsciousness—the mula kleshas (the fundamental “impurities”), get worked through. But because all this is happening gradually they’re acclimatizing as it’s occurring and they may not realize how far they’ve come. That’s why I like telling the story about the samurai...

Enlightenments By Jack Kornfield

There is also what is called the “gateless gate.” One teacher describes it this way: “I would go for months of retreat training, and nothing spectacular would happen, no great experiences. Yet somehow everything changed. What most transformed me were the endless hours of mindfulness and compassion, giving a caring attention to what I was doing. I discovered how I automatically tighten and grasp, and with that realization I started to let go, to open to an appreciation of whatever was present. I found an ease. I gave up striving. I became less serious, less concerned with myself. My kindness deepened. I experienced a profound freedom, simply the fruit of being present over and over.” This was her gateless gate.

Uposatha Sutta - The Dharmafarers, themindingcenter.org

Even so, bhikshus, just as the great ocean slopes gradually, slides gradually, inclines gradually, not abruptly like a precipice — so, too, in this Dharma-Vinaya, penetration into final knowledge occurs by gradual training, not abruptly.1

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How I Would Define of Buddhist Awakening

In this article I will discuss how I think Buddhist awakening should be defined.

Buddhism is explained at its most basic level by the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path which explain the cause of suffering and the end of suffering. So in Buddhism, awakening has to be about easing suffering. Most suffering is caused by attachment to the self-image and to diminish suffering those attachments have to be diminished. The fetter model of awakening in the Pali canon says that at stream-entry (the first stage of awakening) one loses identity-view. Exactly what losing identity-view means is subject to different interpretations. In my opinion, losing identity view should be understood to mean losing attachments to the self-image to the extent that there is a substantial reduction of suffering. I don't know if it is possible to lose those attachments 100% and I don't know that it is impossible either. But in my opinion:

Awakening should be measured by the loss of attachments to the self-image that result in lessened suffering.

Some people define awakening based on experiences that happen during meditation or by some type of non-dual or spiritual experience. There is no Pope in Buddhism and different people have different opinions. I can only say in my opinion:

Experiences only cause awakening if they also cause the loss of attachment to the self-image.

Just the experience by itself, without the loss of attachment to self-image, does not constitute awakening. The experiences by themselves are not necessary or in every case sufficient to cause awakening. 

Since I would measure awakening by loss of attachment to the self-image and not by any particular experience, there is not a good way to identify a moment to call stream-entry. Actually, I would define stream entry as when you understand from examining your own mind that the self-image is just an image and not a thing. But that can happen without causing loss of attachments to the self image. So for these two reasons I would not encourage people to seek or view stream-entry as the first stage of awakening.

(The reason I use the term self-image instead of self is because all of our thoughts arise into consciousness from unconscious processes, we never see how thoughts are constructed they just pop into awareness, and any thought of self that rises from unconscious process is not the self it is the self-image, it is an image projected by unconscious processes into consciousness. We are not able to conceive of the self we only know the self image.)

I also hold the opinion that:

Enlightenment, for most people, is a gradual process independent of exceptional experiences.

Not every one has exceptional experiences and some people who have an exceptional experience don't lose attachment to self-image from it. Awakening is said to be gradual in the Pali canon. Shinzen Young says most of his students awaken gradually and I think that is true for the general population.

I also believe everyone, even non-meditators, have some level of insight into anatta and therefore some level of awakening.

• Most people understand when they get distracted by stray thoughts that they don't control their thoughts.

• Most people understand they don't control their emotions and they sometimes have impulses that are not helpful.

• Most people realize that their egotistical tendencies can cause problems (suffering) for themselves and they would be better off if they were less egocentric.

• People know that when they walk or do other tasks, they don't pay attention to every movement, our bodies operate by themselves to a large extent.

Some people understand this better than others but I think everyone has some glimmer of some part of the fact that our mental and physical life is largely controlled by unconscious processes, which in Buddhist terminology are called the Five Aggregates of Clinging. And whatever amount of enlightenment a person has, they can gradually increase it by practicing meditation and mindfulness and work through the mula kleshas and develop insight into the cause of suffering in their own mind and begin to lose their attachments to the self image. 

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Observing the Mind

In an internet discussion on stream-entry, I posted an explanation of a way to cultivate vipassana (insight) and how vipassana fits into a Buddhist practice of meditation and mindfulness. I have included an edited version of the post below. The Buddha taught his students to cultivate two qualities of mind samatha (traquility) and vipassana (insight). Cultivating tranquility involves relaxing the body and calming the mind, vipassana involves observing the activity of the mind. By calming the mind first, one is able to see more clearly what is going on in it without getting distracted or carried away by thoughts, emotions, impulses, and sensations.

In this post I am going to discuss what is contained in the early Buddhist texts of the Pali Canon, the earliest recorded teachings of the Buddha. Other writers have different views and different definition of stream-entry. I don't have an opinion on which is better or if others are better at something different. Also when I refer to "suffering" or "unpleasant emotions" I mean reactive emotions which are emotions that occur as a response to thoughts or situations.

One of the marks of stream-entry according to the Pali Canon is freedom from doubt about Buddhist practice. When you have stream-entry you understand how the practice leads to the end of suffering. There are many things people confuse with stream-entry but there are some things that clearly indicate you don't have it, and if you have doubts, you don't have it.

Another mark of stream-entry is freedom from identity view. Freedom from identity view means you don't think the self is a thing. There are a lot of different types of experiences that people have where they feel like they don't have a self. Not all of them are useful. Some are interesting or fun to experience but not really useful or worth maintaining. The ones that are useful involve ending suffering. So if it helps you ease your own suffering then you should have no doubt about what what to do with it, how to use it.

In Buddhism, in the Pali Canon, it is taught that letting go is the seventh and last factor that is required for awakening. Letting go of attachments and aversions is a cause of awakening.

Freedom from identity view also means you are not attached to anything that could be interpreted as "me" or "mine" for example: your life, you body, your mind, your thoughts, your opinions, your family, your possessions, your house, your car, your social status, your ethnicity, your nationality, being smart, getting what you want, winning, being better than someone else, etc etc.

So when you are able to let go of all attachments and aversions that might be considered "me" or "mine" including all those I listed above, you will be free from identity view.

The way to let go of attachments and aversions is also explained in the Pali canon (in the anapanasati sutta). You meditate to calm the body (steps 3 and 4), emotions, and mind (step 10), then and only then, when your body, feelings and mind are calm - this includes producing joy (piti step 5), tranquil happiness (sukha step 6) and gladdening the mind (step 10), you observe the mind. I recommend this type of meditation as preparation for observing the mind:
https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2020/08/preparing-for-meditation-with.html

One method of observing the mind is to observe the activity of the mind in meditation and with mindfulness in daily life.

• Observe thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experiences and the sense of self. Sensory experiences include, for example: seeing, hearing, touch, smell, hot/cold, pain/pleasure anything you experience with your senses outside or inside your body. The sense of self is explained below where its constantly changing nature is explained.

• Notice the physical sensations in your body that accompany emotions.

• Notice how suffering arises in the mind when emotions occur in reaction to situations, thoughts, or memories.

• It is easy to see that disliking and not wanting are unpleasant, but also notice that liking and wanting are unpleasant. Wanting something you don't have is unpleasant. Worrying about losing something you like is unpleasant. The feeling of impatience is unpleasant. And the feelings of regret and loss after a pleasant situation has ended are unpleasant.

• Also notice how your ego is involved in so many unpleasant emotions.

• Notice that your sense of being successful depends on getting what you want/like and avoiding what you don't want/don't like, and so your ego, your sense of self, is involved in liking, wanting, disliking and not wanting.

• Also notice how your sense of self (identity) is constantly changing. From one moment to the next you might think of yourself as a student, or a friend, or a parent, or a worker, or a manager, or a music lover, or a musician, or a person of your nationality or ethnicity or a sport fan, or an athlete, or someone who engages in a specific hobby, a winner, a loser, smart, stupid, better, worse, etc. etc. Your identity, your "self", is not a constant unchanging thing.

• Notice there are different ways of experiencing self. Notice how they change from time to time. Some of them include:
  • How you feel about yourself, the kind of person you think of yourself as, pride, shame, winner, looser, smart, stupid, knowledgeable, ignorant, angry, tolerant, happy, sad.

  • The kind of person we think others see us as.

  • Our place in society: child, parent, student, employee, supervisor, member of a team, friend in a group of friends. Our nationality or ethnicity.

  • Notice how your self as an entity that exists is defined by everything we experience, our thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experience, bodily sensations, and sense of self all define how we view our self. These are all changing constantly from moment to moment. Moment to moment awareness blurs into an impression that there is a continuous self even though that awareness keeps changing from moment to moment so the feeling of self is constantly changing.

• Notice even the feeling of being an observer as well as any other feeling of self is just like any other thought or feeling. It is not separate from the activity of the mind, it is not separate from experience, it arises into awareness from the same unconscious processes that produce other thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experience, bodily experiences.

• Notice that every time your mind wanders in meditation it shows you that you don't control your own mind. If you can't control it, if it is independent, how can it be you or yours? And if you can observe it, it must be outside yourself, it isn't you. Your thoughts emotions, impulses, and sensory experiences arise from unconscious processes unasked for, uninvited, they are not you or yours. Even if you feel like you are using your mind to solve a problem, where did the impulse to solve the problem come from? You might think you are just an observer but that sense of being an observer, the sense of self, is just like any other thought or feeling, it arises from unconscious process, it isn't you or yours. Buddha called consciousness a magicians trick.

• Notice your stream of consciousness, notice how thoughts emotions and impulses form a sequence of cause and effect, each one triggering the next. Experience each to its full depth, then let go. Try to see how decisions to move your body are made. Asking where did this [thought/emotion/impulse] come from? Somehow it all seems to function autonomously.

  This is how we get fooled into thinking there is a continuous unchanging self. When we don't look closely it feels like there is a self, when we look closely at the activity of the mind we see there isn't any "self" we can find. We make an assumption that we are in control, we assume it is our will that is the cause, that the self is the will, but when we look closely we see it is just cause and effect operating autonomously.

  And if all is cause and effect, if we can't find a self, then the idea of separation is meaningless, if there is no self, there is no other.

  But the illusion is so strong, attachment to self is so strong, so ingrained in our thinking and behavior, that even though you can see how the illusion forms, you can still suffer from attachments and aversions because of its influence.

  Recognizing the link between the illusion and suffering helps to weaken the attachment, disenchantment with identity view weakens its hold on us. When you observe dukkha arising in the mind, and see how identity view: the ego, the sense of self, the sense of self importance, egocentricity is involved, and how getting what we want and avoiding what we don't want is central to our belief that the self is a success or failure, that helps to weaken the attachment.

• Notice that when you relax, emotions fade, suffering fades, without anything being suppressed. Suffering, mental anguish, is a state of mind, when the mind/body is relaxed it is not in a state of anguish. If you're not sure how to relax, try taking a deep breath, or try breathing in a way you find relaxing. Also try to notice if there is muscle tension in your body and move those muscles a few times to release the tension. You can also do relaxing meditation to help relax and let go of emotions. If you can't relax, try metta or piti or sukkha.

When you observe these things, you are observing the three characteristics (suffering [dukkha], impermanence, and not-self) which helps you to develop detachment that leads to letting go. And when you do let go, when you relax instead of letting thoughts, emotions, and impulses take over your mind and body, you are interrupting the chain of dependent origination.

By practicing this way, you can learn to gradually let go of attachments and aversions and this leads to the end of suffering. In the Pali Canon (in the Satipatthana Sutta) it is also clear that after awakening you still have to practice meditation and mindfulness in daily life - calming and observing the activity of the mind and letting go of reactive emotions. When the Buddha taught mindfulness he says (paraphrasing) "a monk dwells practicing like this..." and goes on to describe meditation and mindfulness techniques. The Buddha and the monks lived practicing meditation and mindfulness. It becomes part of life, it is not something you can stop after some attainment. Buddha never stopped practicing meditation and mindfulness in daily life or ever indicated a stage during life when you could stop it.

By "the end of suffering" I mean you do not suffer from reactive emotions. You are experiencing nibbana with residue. The "residue" is due to the fact that you are still in a body. You will feel pain and unpleasant sensations. Some emotions like some kinds of anxiety and depression are caused by biological factors that mental techniques cannot eliminate. However, when you are non-attached, you will find you have a quiet contented feeling that you dwell in during which there is no mental anguish. In this situation, in the absence of mental anguish, pain is much easier to bear and those emotions that remain seem more like physical sensations than a cloud over reality, so they are much easier to bear also. Whether it is possible to master this to 100% perfection is a matter of controversy. My view is that it might be possible for some people so I don't rule it out. Most people today do not practice the full teaching of the Buddha and it is not realistic to expect to attain 100% perfection in that situation. But even short of 100% perfection, this practice is immensely beneficial to well-being.

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Copyright © 2023 by ncu9nc All rights reserved. Texts quoted from other sources are Copyright © by their owners.