Having equanimity doesn't mean that you don't have emotions or that you don't feel emotions.
Having equanimity means that when you experience unpleasant emotions and cravings, you let yourself feel them without trying to stop them and without judging them: without thinking they are bad, and not thinking you shouldn't feel them. You don't create secondary emotions such as: "I don't like this feeling." "I shouldn't feel like this." "It's bad to feel like this." "This feeling means I failed." etc. Judging and secondary emotions can be very subtle so you may have to make an effort to notice if they are present.
And having equanimity also means just observing emotions and not getting drawn in by emotions: not getting lost in thought or carried away by emotions (trying to solve the problem or planning a reaction or thinking about how it is unfair etc. etc.).
When you just observe without rejecting, judging, or getting drawn in, the emotions seem like they are not yours, your ego is disengaged, you suffer much less.
Having equanimity doesn't mean you don't react to situations; it means you respond with compassion and reason rather than selfish emotions.
In summary, having equanimity means you feel the emotion, you don't try to stop it, you don't judge it, you don't get caught up in it, you just observe it.
- Judging and secondary emotions can be subtle so you might need to make an effort to notice if they are present.
- If you feel tense you can try to relax.
- If your mind wanders you can bring it back to feeling the emotion.
- Remember, the situation is not causing you to suffer, your reaction to the situation is causing you to suffer.
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