Letting Go of the Ego

Meditation can helped you to learn how to let go of your ego.

I recommend a form of meditation that is very relaxing.

After meditating this way regularly for some time, relaxing begins to feel like letting go of unpleasant emotions because unpleasant emotions are the source of tension. You can't be angry and relaxed at the same time.

Most unpleasant emotions have at their root some sort of attachment to the self.

If one continues to meditate regularly, relaxing, letting go of unpleasant emotions, begins to feel like letting go of the ego. You recognize the egotistical nature of unpleasant emotions and relaxing begins to feel like giving up the egotism. You realize that unpleasant emotions are selfish. Producing unpleasant emotions feels like a selfish act. You see that it is more pleasant to let go of those feelings than to hold on to them. You see that the self is not so important after all.

The ego is a creation of the mind. It is an opinion not something concrete. It is much nicer to be relaxed than to be upset by unpleasant emotions in a pointless attempt to defend an imaginary thing. (I don't mean to imply that problems needing attention should be ignored. But problems should be solved with reason and compassion not with egotistical tantrums.)

Trying to maintain a relaxed state during and after meditation feels like watching for the ego to arise and letting go of it before it can cause trouble.

Letting go of the ego feels like giving up the sense of self-importance. Through regular meditation you learn that egocentric attachments are the cause of the unpleasant emotions that cause suffering for oneself and others. You see how you produce them and can refrain from doing so by staying relaxed or relaxing if you become upset.

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Copyright © 2020 by ncu9nc All rights reserved. Texts quoted from other sources are Copyright © by their owners.

Forgiving

A few days ago I was walking home from the dentist's office when I passed by a park near my home. In my town, during the pandemic, the parks are open for people to use if they maintain social distancing. In the park, I saw a mother and her young daughter playing on a skateboard. The mother was walking, holding her daughter's hands, helping her to balance on the skateboard as it rolled along the ground. The mother and child were enjoying themselves, both were laughing.

It reminded me of how childhood can be happy, carefree, safe, fun, and full of love. I thought how unfortunate it is that growing up fills life with responsibility, worry, disappointment, and other unpleasant emotions. But as the sight of the mother and daughter reminded me of that carefree time of life, I felt the carefree feeling. For a moment it stopped all the mental activity that weighs one down as an adult: responsibility, worry, resentment, anger at life and other people.

Letting go of all those feelings was really the same thing as forgiving.

Oddly, seeing the mother and daughter showed me how to forgive.

Then I thought about how the presence of those feelings in me affected me and I felt regret over how those feelings affected other other people through my interactions with them. I thought about how gloominess might dampen the mother and daughter's enjoyment of the moment if its shadow fell over them. I wanted to stop casting that kind of shadow if I could.

Now I can still remember the sight of the mother and daughter and the feeling of carefree childhood that is really the feeling of forgiving. I can also remember the thought of how unpleasant emotions arising in me might spill over and spoil the moments of carefree innocence of other people. It motivates me to cultivate the spirit of forgiving as much as I can by recalling that carefree feeling to help me let go of unpleasant emotions. It produces a kind of freedom that only forgiving can grant.

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Copyright © 2020 by ncu9nc All rights reserved. Texts quoted from other sources are Copyright © by their owners.

Varieties of Non-Self and Non-Dual experiences.

Someone on a discussion forum asked about scientific studies of no-self experiences. I referred them to an article which discusses a student report on the subject that includes informative references.

I also replied that there are several different types of not-self, non-self, no-self, and nondual experiences and I think each would have a different physiological correlate. It is helpful to recognize this if one is going to research the scientific studies on the subject.

Some people might point out that nonduality is not the same as no-self, since nonduality can recognize unity as a self. Another way of looking at it is that if you experience unity then your ordinary self is not the complete understanding of self, so nonduality can be considered a type of no-self experience. Also, from the experiencer's point of view, there is a blurring of distinction and an overlap of the two types of experiences. And if your interest in non-self is because you are interested in understanding how the ordinary mundane self might not be the only way of experiencing reality, then nonduality may also be of interest. For all these reasons I am combining both types of experiences in this article.

• One type of experience can happen when the mind is quiet from meditation and you experience one of the five senses.

  Typically if you hear a sound, for example, you are also analyzing and interpreting the sound, trying to understand how that sound relates to you and what it means for you in your environment.

  But if the mind is so quiet it doesn't provide any type of judgement or analysis all you do is hear. There is no filter, no mind, between the sound and the hearing making an interpretation or commentary and there is no reaction or attachment or aversion to what you hear.

  You don't experience any liking or disliking - you don't reject it, you don't cling to it, you don't get carried away by thoughts and emotions weaving a story in your mind about what it means and how it relates to you.

  There is just hearing.

  In that situation, it seems like there is no self involved and you notice that as a no-self experience.

  You see how the feeling of self is created by mental activity because in the absence of mental activity you notice when the feeling of self is absent.

  Because you don't analyze or interpret the meaning of the sound or dislike or reject the sound, you don't distinguish it from yourself, you do not feel separate from the sound, so you don't feel a sense of separateness. It is also a non-dual experience.

• Another type of experience is when the distinction between observer and the observed disappears. When this happened to me I lost awareness of body after many hours of meditation and it seemed like all that existed was what I was looking at. Since I existed I must be the thing I was looking at. I think this is what the article I linked to above is about. https://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/mystical_experiences#mystical_kensho

• Sometimes after a meditation session when the mind is very quiet from meditating, the absence of mental chatter creates a feeling that something is missing, there is a feeling of a kind of emptiness, a hollowness where the "person" is missing. I call it "feeling like a doughnut". One is aware of the body but doesn't feel like there is anyone in there.  It doesn't sound logical. I am not trying to be logical - I am trying to describe a feeling. Feelings are not necessarily logical. https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2019/06/no-one-to-be-offended.html

• After a session of deep relaxation, a similar kind of experience happens if you focus on the floating feeling or the feeling of tranquility during meditation or during daily activities. You feel so peaceful that the things that used to annoy you just don't get a rise out of you. That thing that used to get annoyed, that ego, isn't there and you feel like you don't have a self/ego. It's not a big deal. It's peacful and quiet, it's not mystical, it's like getting back to normal when worrying about being annoyed or angry or afraid or wanting something was a disruption of normality.

  This idea of self, of a me, is just an idea, and because it's just an idea it isn't real or false. But if you recognize that "me" isn't a real solid thing that exists as matter, that it's just an idea, then there isn't any thing that has to be defended, that can be harmed or insulted, that can win or lose. How can an idea win or lose or feel insulted? When there is no "me" there is no ill will or fear etc.

  You can understand this on an intellectual level but until it works its way through your subconscious (the unconscious processes responsible for thoughts, emotions, impulses, sense of self), into your world view, you don't really understand it. You have to experience that quiet peaceful state, to feel like you don't have a self, to get it.

• I went for a walk and tried to notice those no-self moments - moments when something you see or hear catches your attention and you are aware of it without thinking about anything else. At first I noticed a few and I wondered what the point was, to extend their duration or to let repeated observations convince me that self was an illusion. I kept walking and noticed more of these moments. I began to get a sense of the quality of them which helped me to notice more and more. As I went along I started to notice them fairly frequently. They came faster and faster until I thought every sensation is a no-self moment. I laughed. I thought it was a good joke. http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2020/10/no-self-moments.html

• Another kind of experience is when you observe the activity of the mind and see that thoughts, emotions, and impulses arise from the unconscious unasked for and uninvited. Every time you are trying to keep the mind focused in meditation and you become distracted by an interrupting thought, it is a reminder that you don't control your mind. It may seem like the self is only pure awareness observing thoughts emotions and impulses. But then if you consider that the feeling of being an observer is just like any other thought, emotion, or impulse, you are left with nothing. You can get a feeling of intentionally using your mind when you are trying to solve a problem, but where did the intention to solve the problem, to use your mind, come from? Buddha said consciousness is like a magician's trick. I think this is what he was talking about. http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2019/09/coming-and-going.html

• Here are some of other types of experiences:
  http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2015/02/joy-during-meditation.html
  • [This type of meditation] also creates a kind of synesthesia where everything I see and hear, I also feel in my body as if they are part of me. There is an effect like the brain is a virtual reality machine and what I see is really a movie inside my head projected on the unchanging screen of pure awareness, like my mind contains the whole universe including me walking around inside it. Other times I feel like my self and its boundaries are dissolving and I am expanding to merge into infinite space

  • You can learn to be so relaxed that you don't feel defensive. You don't feel the need to defend your boundaries. You feel like an interconnected part of everything and everyone. Like each part, including yourself, is (joint owner of?) the whole. This state is resistant to unpleasant emotions because it affects your feeling of identity. It changes your opinion of what is "me" and "mine". If you are everything, you are not any particular thing. There aren't things outside you that affect you. There just is what is. It feels like unconditional good will and compassion and the absence of self-importance.

• Another type of experience may occur if you just sit and notice your perceptions: what you see, hear, and smell around you, what you feel inside your body, the activity of your mind - thoughts, emotions and impulses. Doing this, you might be puzzled about what exactly you should pay attention to. Should you check each type of perception in a specific sequence? Should you just watch your mind and see what happens? If you just watch, who is it that is deciding what you notice? This question is significant because it shows that despite popular belief, there is not an obvious continuous stream of consciousness or a controlling consciousness. You may notice that consciousness is really just a series of distinct moments of awareness. There is nothing that is continuous from perception to perception. There is no continuous self in it. There is awareness of this perception, then that perception, then another perception etc.

  This isn't meant to be a logical explanation that might be true or false - it is a description of a feeling that some people have. It is not meant to help you understand or believe something, it is meant to help you feel something or recognize what you might be feeling.

  Observing experience in this way can help diminish suffering because if you are experiencing something unpleasant, by spreading your awareness around different external and internal sensations and mental activity you spend only a small fraction of the time aware of the unpleasantness. Additionally, observing unpleasant emotions along with other types of perceptions has a dissociating effect where the experiencer feels more like an observer than the one who is suffering. This eases suffering and is a type of non-self experience similar to one mentioned above.

• This next link is also relevant, it describes nondual experiences/beliefs in many different cultures: Christian, Sufi, Native American, Jewish, Spiritualist, an atheist, etc.
  http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2015/03/realizing-ultimate.html]http://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2015/03/realizing-ultimate.html

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