Monday, August 3, 2020

Experiencing Anatta

Thoughts, emotions, feelings, and impulses arise from the unconscious mind unasked for and uninvited. They are not you or yours.

Seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling, touch, etc, are the same. You don't try to hear, you just hear.

When you try to solve a problem it may seem like you are deliberately using your mind, but where does the impulse to solve the problem come from?

It may seem like you are just awareness observing the activity of the mind and sensations in the body and perceptions of the outside world.

But the sense of being an observer is just like any other thought or feeling. It arises from the unconscious. If you can observe it, it isn't you.

When you look for a self within your mind the thought "self" creates a sense of self. Like telling someone not to think of pink elephants causes them to think of pink elephants.

When you look closely and observe the activity of the mind, sensations: sights, sounds, smells, feelings, etc., and mental activity: thoughts, emotions, impulses, etc., you see that consciousness is a series of discrete moments of awareness like the frames of a movie that are seen so quickly they create the illusion of continuity, they create the illusion of a continuous (permanent) self, when there are really only distinct moments of awareness. When you ponder continuity, also consider your self-concept. Is the angry self the same self as the happy self? Is the self of past years the same as the current self? When you are at work, you might think of yourself as an employee or a boss. When you are with your parents, you might think of yourself as their child. When you are with your child, you might think of yourself as a parent. Whatever you do, wherever you are it can influence who and what you think you are. Which self is real? Are any of them the real self? During daily life, try to notice how your self concept changes throughout the day.

When asked if there is a self, Buddha refused to answer because saying yes or no would not help his students to understand. What Buddha did say is that if you look for a permanent self, you can't find one anywhere. Buddha wanted his students to understand the sense of self as an activity or process.

To experience anatta (not-self), think through what is written above including the linked article. Notice the feeling of just being an observer of moments of awareness. Then consider that there is no observer either. How do you feel? Now, drop all thoughts of self or not-self or observing or awakening or dharma or Buddha or attaining states of consciousness or attaining anything from meditation.

Drop all intentions. Intentions are often intertwined with attachments to the self such as success/failure, winning/losing, and craving/aversion.

Just observe the activity of the mind with a clear mind.

This is not supposed to be a logical argument that is true or false. It is an attempt to communicate a feeling. Feelings are not logical.


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